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‘Yoruba Mind Meld’: The Alignment of Mouth, Thought, Emotion and Ori

Spock Klingon Mind MeldYou might be wondering how on earth the famous Vulcan, Spock, has landed leading off a blog post on Ifa, but there is something very logical and appropriate in bringing his memory and spirit to life (May Leonard Nimoy Rest in Peace). Spock was known for having an open mind, willing to approach life with inquisitiveness while tempering it with analysis (and self-analysis), something very important to those on the path of Ifa.

Among the Yoruba there is a saying of great importance to Ifa practitioners : ENU NI ÌFÀÁ WÀ, which roughly translates to ‘mouth brings favor’, or, ‘mouth brings blessings/fortune’. While this is not used exclusively within the context of Ifa and is a common expression, it bears taking a closer look as to the importance of ‘mouth’ in our daily lives – whether on the path of Ifa or not.

Words – no matter how big or small – hold power, as well as the emotions and feelings behind those words. When we are appeasing a deity we use not only the food offerings, but we also use our tongues and mouths in unison with our prayers to bring about the desired change in our lives (and/or others), through ritual. This is Ifa in action, the ase of our tongue in active prayer, everything turned towards the desired goal and outcome. We can also chew pepper to bring more ‘power’ to our words/requests, or even put a type of powdered ewe oogun on the tongue to bring about ‘command’ – but what of our words/thoughts spoken in daily life when we are not inside the shrine?

Esu, being the most ‘gluttonous’ of the irunmole, is always given his share first of all offerings made to other deities and is sometimes depicted as having a large mouth. Because of his special role in giving vision of the past, present and future to the mouthpiece of Orunmila in the Ifa divination system (again, that word ‘mouth’), and of also ferrying the requests and appeasements from earth to heaven and vice versa, Esu is portrayed as always eager to receive his share – whether a capful of palm oil, a whole jug, or a whole ocean of it. And we must carefully watch our words AND our thoughts while taking care of Esu Lalu Ogiri Oko! Without proper mind control, a Babalawo or Iyanifa is courting lackluster results – or worse – a possible thumping on the head. And in making offering to one’s ori we can find a similar focus on the mouth – but linked this time directly to our ori/best destiny. We take a sip, a bite of everything offered, and afterwards we may be instructed to also have those around us share in the offerings. Mouth as ritual – ritual as mouth. When we go for Ifa divination, we whisper our queries and desires before putting our symbolic money down (‘put your money where your mouth is’). Mouth is central to worship and to life. It is how we suckle as babies, how we nourish ourselves to stay alive, how we formulate the words and prayers that bring our victory. The one hiccup in all of this is in how we control ourselves in terms of our thoughts and our own spoken words – towards ourselves and towards others.

I have talked before about the importance of heartfelt prayers of thanks to God/Olodumare and to our ori, but it is also just as important for us to police our everyday thoughts and spoken words. While it may sound like some kind of New Age jargon, controlling not only our actions (positive/negative), but our own statements – whether voiced or just thought – is very important to our well being and progress. And this also dovetails into my other frequently expressed belief that we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to sabotaging our own lives.

When facing a difficult task/problem, when facing life and its many challenges, do we give in with our mouths – or do we rise to the task and take command of the situation?

Life already throws at us the most myriad of challenges – why make it worse by allowing our own thoughts and words to reinforce what we do not truly want for ourselves?

I have heard many times (myself included in some of these!), “I cannot possibly learn this”, “I am not moving forward”, “I don’t have the means/money”, and on a more destructive level, “I am too old”, “I am not smart enough”, “I’m finished”, “it is impossible”, “I am ugly”, “no one will ever love me”, “I’m headed nowhere good”, “I might as well be dead”, “I can’t find a job”, etc., etc., etc.

To misuse the mouth against another is a type of negative ‘killing’ – to misuse the mouth against ourselves is suicide.

The first thing I do when faced with negative circumstances (after having already sussed out everything I can do within the power of Ifa), is to immediately counter any negative thoughts or speech I might be using towards the situation with the exact opposite thoughts/speech in the positive. There is nothing more sad than someone who has gotten stuck in a broken loop repeating the same negative litany of curses towards their own life. A person MUST APPLY THEIR ORI/HEAD/MOUTH/THOUGHTS to their situation and all will-power available to counter the negativity.

Instead of waking up and looking in the mirror thinking “ugh, my ugly bald head/I hate how I look”, reinforce how your good character shines through your face and eyes, that you are beautiful with or without hair, that the people who are attracted to you will be kind and favour you and love and accept you just as you are (just as you would love and accept them). I know some people who actually talk so badly about their looks it makes me cringe inside! They pick on their teeth, their skin, their eyes, their hair, their hips, their legs, in fact it seems as if none of their body escapes their withering criticism! How can we expect to thrive and bloom when we are heaping the dark, negative coals of derision upon our own heads and bodies? Discounting our own intelligence? Our own beauty? Our ability to overcome adversity? We MUST prevail and be our own champion!

The instant you think or utter something negative about your self or your life – STOP that thought/spoken word – and counter it. If you cannot verbalize it publicly right then, then think it and make it the opposite. Words have POWER, and what you generate today can come back to bite you! The energy you put into those words backed by your emotions and ‘feelings’ can devil your heels. I cannot emphasize enough how many people get stuck in negative loops that they cultivate for years, decades, and on into their graves. Don’t be one of those people. Use your mind. Use your intelligence. Use your will-power. Use your ori. Be your own friend. Proclaim your victory. In spite of the worst odds, the worst conditions around you in real-time evidence, do not give in to the appearance of hopelessness and desolation, to the feeling of hopelessness and desolation, because you have the power to transform it and fashion it closer to your liking.

It takes practice, yes. It takes will-power, yes, but once you get in the habit you will find yourself with new energy and vitality towards solving/moving towards solutions, besides the fact that your life becomes much more pleasant, and you are someone that others find pleasant to be around! And you will find that yes, life never stays the same, that we DO find solutions and positive outcomes, but it requires us to keep all things in balance, apply slow and steady effort, watch our words, thoughts, our emotions/feelings and never let them run away with/spoil our good ori/head/destiny.

I frequently put ‘Western Mind’ in the cross-hairs when talking about Ifa but there is some truth for that. You will be hard-pressed to find any Yoruba man, woman or child who indulges themselves to the point of speaking ill of their own life or allowing themselves to reach the emotional pits that many Westerners seem to frequent like some kind of perverse watering holes of Hell. I once was talking to a friend of mine in Nigeria, a very beautiful and kind woman, a hard worker, who had been badly wronged in a serious love issue. I wasn’t so much ‘advising’ as trying to comfort her. Knowing the particulars, I proffered the usual palliatives one gives in these female to female teary confessions, but then after maybe 15 minutes of tears I witnessed her perform on herself what I half-jokingly call the ‘Yoruba Mind Meld’. Instead of giving in weak-kneed and weak-minded, she visibly gathered/called her ‘good’/highest ori/destiny to the forefront by focusing her will-power and resolve, grabbed hold of her emotions, stopped her tears and proclaimed that this situation would not get the best of her, that she would not let her heart destroy her life and that she would carry on happily until finding another man who valued and cherished her. Yes, indeed, and though this had been a many year’s long relationship, the betrayal did not take her down into a many year’s long recovery. Though clearly not the text-book description of a true Vulcan ‘mind meld’ (don’t want to offend the hardcore Trekkies here), it does incorporate the idea that our best/highest/’good’ ori is always at the ready to lead us, guide us, teach us and impart all of its wisdom and benefit to our lives. Think of it as a transference of the Divine as we become accustomed to digging deep to bolster and support our ‘good’ ori/destiny, by reining in the out-of-control ‘bad’ head/ori. The value the Yoruba put on the proficiency to control words, thoughts, emotions and feelings is also summed up nicely by Spock’s father Sarek:

“Emotions run deep within our race. In many ways more deeply than in humans. Logic offers a serenity humans seldom experience. The control of feelings so that they do not control you.”

Wise words indeed.

I’ve witnessed the ‘Yoruba Mind Meld’ in other situations with Babalawos who have run aground here and there for various reasons. The face visibly changes in intention as they take charge and take control of their ori/their thoughts/their ase and command and nip situations in the bud before they take root. IT IS A CHOICE – BUT NOT AN OPTION WHEN ONE IS ON THE PATH OF IFA, WHEN ONE CLAIMS TO WANT PROGRESS, WHEN ONE CLAIMS TO BE ‘TRYING THEIR BEST’, WHEN ONE IS ACTIVELY PURSUING VICTORY NOT ONLY FOR THEMSELVES, BUT FOR OTHERS.

Our ori is symbolized by/resides within our head, and what do you think is the most powerful of all the features of the head? The eyes? Nose? It is the mouth! The inner and outer ori coming together, working together in alignment, the positive subduing and transforming the negative equals the ‘Yoruba Mind Meld’.  We do not allow our ‘bad’ ori/head to spoil our ‘good’ ori/true best destiny! And as Spock would say, we can then “Live long and Prosper”!

Here in the Western world, prescription drug use for ’emotional disorders’, ‘bi-polar’ and every other umbrella diagnosis for the lack of a spiritual path/guidance and spiritual consciousness to support, guide and buffer the hard knocks of life is rampant. Perceived slights and injustices seem to affect many people to where they can’t think straight, talk straight nor conduct themselves civilly and without loose cannon emotions/actions in public, let alone face a job loss, relationship issues, etc.,. Anger and angry displays towards a perceived ‘other’ (who seemingly is the ‘enemy’), have reached levels where many people are seriously losing what little of their minds and possible peace they had left. Do I think this a symptom of Western lifestyle/culture and synonymous to some degree with Western thought/lack of true spirituality/humbleness before God, in the Western world? Yes, I do. Do I think that the spiritual practice and tradition of Ifa can be an example/lend wisdom for some on how to better live our lives here on earth and be happy? Yes, I do. It only takes a level of self-awareness and self-accountability, along with effort. Ifa gives us nothing for free without our own effort and striving, though God has freely given us this precious life.

Life is hard at times, and sometimes there is a long slog to endure before the road levels out, but it is never in good character to harm another or curse another – with words or otherwise. A lack of love towards another is simply a reflection of the lack of love and self awareness/self respect we have of, and towards ourselves.  We do not need to agree with everything and everybody in this world. But at a minimum we are expected (at least within Ifa) to be responsible for our own thoughts, our actions, our character, our words, to mean and cast no harm onto ourselves, nor to others. We have one shot at this life.  Make it count, make it beautiful, leave a legacy that is one of joy, elegance, peace, understanding, good nature, tolerance and a willingness to LOVE. Take control of your thoughts, spoken words and the emotions behind them so they do not negatively control you and your life. May God bless and keep you, May your Ori guide you perfectly, May you receive all the good blessings of life, Ase O!

“Logic is the beginning of Wisdom – not the end.” ~ Spock

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‘Fake Ifa priests are taking over America’

Unedited version of http://tribuneonlineng.com/fake-ifa-priests-taking-america/

Nigerian Tribune Nov. 3, 2016

Iya Ekundayo Adele Ifamuregun, Iyalorisa, Iyanifa, Juremeira, orisa divination

 

Yeye Ekundayo Adele Ifamuregun  practices the Ifa religion in the United States of America, and as a priestess of the African Traditional Religion (ATR), she has used her calling to assist people with spiritual problems. However, in this interview with ADEWALE OSHODI, the priestess laments the large number of fakes currently parading themselves as priests in the US, while also highlighting how she has found her way towards practicing her faith in a country that is not known for understanding African culture and traditions.

For how long have you been practising professionally as a priestess in America, and how does the average American see you as having a solution to their problems?

I’ve been working as a priestess inside the United States since coming here in 2001, and before that, working in Brazil. When you speak of an “average” American, one must understand that the portion of the population who follow Diasporic African Traditional Religions (ATRs), is very small, percentage wise, and true IFA is even less.

The “average” American as a whole is simply unaware of IFA and how it works, but people are very willing and open to anything that will pull them out of their issues. Some people are called towards the path of IFA and the orisa (irunmole), others just want help. It can be through divination, ewe oogun, sacrifices, works – whatever is needed. The Western Mind in general approaches things differently, which can take a lot of patience and guidance from my side to get people to a place of understanding.

The Ifa practice comes with placing sacrifices, which I understand, may not be permitted in the American society; so how do you go about offering your sacrifices?

Actually, people in the United States have already gone to the Supreme Court to fight for their right to conduct ritual blood sacrifice within their own shrines and temples, and won in every case, so while this is something that one must be sensitive to in terms of community and your neighbors, there is already a precedent set within the court system protecting the rights of orisa worshipers to practice their rituals in certain localities under certain constraints.

Discretion is needed, along with creativity and sensitivity. I happen to live in the countryside, with many streams, rivers, isolated roads and forests, the ocean is nearby, so this is not really a problem. I can rest items on my own property and in my own shrine so there is no issue. In Brazil, however, there are now environmental laws put into place by Evangelical politicians, and also laws which control where you buy the animals needed and where you can then keep them until the time of sacrifice; their own bid to stamp out freedom of religion and the African tradition of Ifa and orisa that took root there with the slave trade.
One big problem that we have in Nigeria is the issue of fake priests, and with the growing popularity of Ifa in America, do you also have this problem?

Absolutely, YES! Of the people who come to me, a large majority have made contact with unscrupulous or simply ignorant “Ifa” practitioners here inside of the US, though some have also been bamboozled in Nigeria. Many clients come to me spiritually, emotionally, mentally and financially bankrupt, after passing through the hands of “IFA” organizations, in the US, as well as passing though the hands of various independent priests – you name it, I have heard it, and dealt with every kind of ridiculous story there is.

This is a huge problem, I cannot stress it enough, and it has pained me for many years as I feel I am rowing against a tide of outright charlatanism, well-meaning or willful ignorance, or, in some cases, very dangerous injustices.

Just yesterday I divined for an American initiated into IFA in Nigeria, a so-called IFA priest with his own shrine having issues. He is having trouble with a certain energy and had been offering something ridiculous to them, and it was his Nigerian Awo who had told him this was a proper offering. He didn’t even know that one must throw cowries or obi after making an offering to check if the offerings have been accepted! So this US man, with no authority in IFA – not a real Babalawo, just an initiate – opened up a shrine and is teaching people IFA in the US. It is ridiculously insane what is going on out here in terms of IFA, and it needs to stop.

I work closely with my family in Nigeria and most of our work consists of sweeping up the pieces of peoples’ lives who have gotten involved with these  “priests” and “priestesses” who simply have no authority or knowledge to be working in the capacity as a priest or priestess, or, they might have some working knowledge but are morally and ethically not capable of turning the practice into something other than a moneymaking tradition, or, they simply do not have the deeper understanding of Ifa and neglect to set their clients/initiates up with the fundamentals they need to know.

Although you don’t have the power to tackle the rise in the number of fake priests; is there a way you are sensitising the public so that they won’t fall victims?

I discussed this with a very prominent person involved in IFA in Nigeria a few years back, how IFA is being taken over, modified, diluted, exploited and appropriated by cut and paste priests and those who make a quick trip to Nigeria for an initiation (or have one within the US), then think that gives them the right to practice as a Babalawo, start divining and open up shop. Some of these people are churning out books about IFA (after spending all of 3 weeks total in Nigeria), which are absolute nonsense, they open moneymaking IFA mills and churn out initiates, hold workshops geared towards Western “New Age” “healing” in the name of IFA, but people in the Diaspora have no idea they are nonsense books, invalid initiations with no odu calabash present nor truly linked priests, workshops that have nothing to do with true IFA. They are helpless like babies in the face of this – earnest in seeking – but cannot distinguish what is true IFA, as they don’t know the difference. It is happening all over, with disastrous results. This is not just a “US – IFA problem” but a Yorbaland problem as well, as there is some blame to lay there.

The best I can do is write extensive blog posts and articles on my website farinadeolokun.com, talking about what IFA is and isn’t, what to look for, what to watch out for, give people some basic solid knowledge and pray that Orunmila guides them, or brings me those who have been broken in trust and faith so we can set things straight and get them up and walking forward in life.

There is no one in the Diaspora who can offer initiations into IFA or under any orisa unless they somehow transplant at least a good handful of high level, wise, ethical and LEARNED priests and priestesses from Nigeria, with all of the animals needed, all of the items needed, a complete correct shrine, an igbodu with the most important item of all, the sacred Odu calabash. It simply cannot be done, unless all of the above are present. It is better for a person in the Diaspora to receive an initiation via proxy in Nigeria thru ethical and learned elders – if they cannot travel in person – than to risk their ori and destiny in the hands of someone they have not fully researched in the Diaspora. I’m sure there are people who will shake and shout over those words but that is my position after years of experience dealing with the fallout from these Diaspora “initiations” and some Yorubaland initiations.

Can you share an instance when you’ve had to rescue a victim who had had his ‘hands burnt’ by a fake priest?

There are simply too many instances to narrate. And I am speaking of both fake priests within Diaspora ATRs and also within IFA, both US and in Nigeria. I’ve had everything from someone getting actual serious burns on their body from gunpowder during a “ritual” to “banish negative spirits”, women being sexually molested, clients being told to sell off millions of dollars worth of their properties and “give the money to IFA” (leaving them destitute), IFA initiations being done with no 4 footed sacrifice, no odu calabash, or at times even no blood sacrifice at all (which is possible with certain orisa but not within IFA initiation).

I’m currently dealing with the aftermath an American IFA priest has left behind in his “omos”, who was initiated by others who have “title” and initiation in Nigeria. They are well known on the East Coast and have been initiating people into IFA inside the US for years, giving out a “hand of Ifa” with ikin of three eyes (actually there are two people I know of who are doing this). This is astounding, as any true Babalawo or Iyanifa will attest to, and is a great curse on the person, a sacrilege to Orunmila, and will do nothing but cause upheavals in the recipient’s life.

I have identified at least 16 people who have received these “hands of IFA” from this man for certain, and know there are dozens more –if not hundreds more. How is it that a Babalawo doesn’t know the number of eyes the ikin of a sacred hand of IFA should possess? And how is it that his elders in Nigeria have allowed this to happen? Amazing.

This is a very grave situation, yet they are still being promoted as an IFA priest. Where is the accountability?  If you speak of IFA and the US/Diaspora, you must speak of the role of Nigeria. Does anyone within Nigeria understand that in some instances they have set loose forces into the world, by their own hand under the white flag of IFA, who are not only harming innocent people but also harming the future of the IFA tradition itself? Of course not all Nigerian priests and priestesses are unethical, nor should they be held responsible for all actions of their initiates, but surely they should make an effort to distinguish which people are coming for initiation/title out of a true need and calling from IFA, and not simply from a desire to puff up their ego and embark on a moneymaking venture once back in the US, using the name of IFA to achieve that. The greed for money is truly the root of all evil.

So how does one identify a fake priest from a real one?

The example of the ikin is an obvious red flag for someone who truly works inside IFA. The issue is the initiate or client does not have this knowledge inside of the US, unless they are lucky enough to find someone who can steer them straight before disaster and spending big money. As far as blanket identification of a “fake”, that is a sticky issue, because you can find people who say “a real Babalawo does not throw cowries”. Well, no, actually any “real” Babalawo can use cowries; cowries are just another means of divination and you might have to use what is at hand, if needed, but in straight defined terms of IFA, if you visit a Babalawo for divination and they use opele or ikin Ifa and pull a book about odu off of a shelf in order to recite verses (don’t laugh, most do in the US) this is not a capable learned priest. In the case of a woman client – if the “priest” starts sexual advances, or starts talking about being a “spiritual wife”, you are in the presence of – at best – an unethical and immoral Babalawo – at worst, a charlatan. If there is any kind of work with candles, glasses of water on a “shrine” (other than to make ibori or using a glass holding water in feeding/calling/”cooling” an orisa etc), you are dealing with a Diaspora priest (charlatan or not).

But if a priest/ess is presenting themselves as IFA only, ask if they came from an ATR before entering IFA – which tradition it was, were they fully initiated, by whom, where, when. I usually ask my clients to describe exactly what took place in their IFA initiation if they had one, where it was, who took part, how many Nigerians were present (if any), was there blood sacrifice, which animals and items, what was the odu given them (if any), the background and origin of the priest or priestess, was the odu calabash present (if a man, or does the woman know if one was present), were their eyes bathed with the proper herbs before entering the igbodu, many questions.

Also, In the case of otas and orisa, sometimes people send me photos of the inside of their pots when they suspect something is “off” and things are not going well; you would be surprised what turns up inside of them. Sometimes there are stones and pebbles where no stones should ever be, coins, pyramids, crystals, colored “gemstones”, signs that this is Diaspora practice and not IFA practice. Yes, there are differences in how “pots” are made within Yorubaland; some of these items mentioned above were made in the Diaspora and others were made in Nigeria, but all were supposedly “made in IFA”.

I suspect that a making of pots in Nigeria done in accordance to what the Diaspora client (with dollars in hand) knows as “true”, “familiar” or “authentic” in their own original Diaspora “knowledge”, is creeping into Nigerian IFA and orisa practice because some Nigerians are acquiescing to these taste dictates, perhaps out of politeness (and the fact they are receiving money so don’t want to contrary the foreigners), and they might not feel it matters in the long run and let it slide – but it does matter – because the IFA tradition is being modified by outside Diaspora tastes and dictates, whether anyone in Nigeria is aware of it or not, participating in it or not, cares or not.  This cannot and should not happen.

My simplest advice in a nutshell is for a person to always trust their ori, their head, their higher self, that feeling in the pit of the stomach, the small voice inside of them. How do they feel in the presence of that person? Does the person offer guidance and explanation of how the IFA system works? Does it make sense? Are they asking for big money for immediate initiations when you have only just met them? Are they making financial demands that are far beyond what one can afford? Do they offer to do works that harm others instead of simply defending via “return to sender”? If you are feeling uncomfortable, there is usually a good reason for that.

Those who willingly harm and cheat others will end up paying, sooner or later, and those who have suffered at their hands, their own victory will come. The travesty is that the good name of IFA is being soiled by charlatans, and by people in the Diaspora who are “loving” IFA and orisa to death with their own egos and concepts, financial ambitions and their “Westernizing” of the principles of the IFA system.

My prayers are always with the good Babas and Iyas of Nigeria, my family, and especially the so-called “bush Babas and Iyas” (the ignorant of Nigeria call them “illiterates”), who hold the true and correct lineage upright and are examples of Orunmila incarnate in action, this precious gift of IFA the Yoruba people have so far managed to preserve and be sustained by. May Olodumare, IFA and all irunmole guide, protect and bless Yorubaland, her people, and the nation as a whole, ASE O!

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The Odd Pairing of Esu and Joan Rivers

odd-pairing-of-esu-and-joan-riversI am always fond of saying that I learn something new in orisa everyday and this week was no exception. For those of you not familiar with me, I work as a Iyanifa and Iyalorisa priestess, a cowrie shell diviner, a maker of Ifa medicines using plants and leaves and also as a physical medium of spirit and orisa. A large part of my work is attending to clients who come to sit “face to face” with a spirit guide, or, most often, Esu, the “most human” of all orisa, for a one on one about their life and all things under the sun. At times the sessions are gut wrenching and tearjerkers, other times the people are almost rolling on the floor with laughter; with Esu, especially, one never knows what is going to occur.

This week a client came to me (and they have approved my sharing of small parts of their story), beset with troubles; they wanted to talk with Esu.

It was a hot night, a restless wind swirling outside. Esu arrived quickly with his usual commanding energy and presence, cackling and cracking a joke to those present. Always the Master of Ceremonies, he settled in to get to the subject matter at hand.

The client.

As she had talked to Esu before, the approach was direct. Sometimes Esu comes in slow and from a side angle, circling in until he gets to the core nut each person has protected, or is not even aware of protecting, but in this case she laid it all on the table. A middle-aged woman, no debt, no children, paid off house, good income, but nothing was going right. All was dark and dismal, roads blocked, marriage troubles, frustration, anger and sleepless nights waking up at 3 a.m. to worry ’til dawn.

Okay. Anyone who knows a bit about the Ifa and orisa tradition would say:

“Esu will say they need to make sacrifice!”

“He will say, go to Ogun to open your road”.

“He will say, let’s take a look if someone (Iyami, enemies etc.), has done something against you”.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Here I must insert that I have a helper at my side, a patient soul who’s game for late night sessions and orders barked at 1 a.m. by spiritual powers who can be-let’s just say-adamant, about what needs to be done. They act as a go between for cultural reference or choosing the proper word in English Esu is searching for.

After her litany of complaints-Esu listening quite interested the whole time-began his conversation with her:

“So, with all the hubbub in the world, the one unchanging thing that everyone has within their reach are their thoughts and their attitudes. A winner remains a winner until the end. You see, you cannot say: “Last week I was a winner but this week I’m not.” You have to say: “I’m always a winner, always a believer.” Like that lady that passed away today, she was a winner.”

Looks exchanged between the client and helper.

Client: “I don’t understand.”

Helper: “Esu, which lady do you mean?”

Esu: (waving arms) “You know, that funny one.”

Helper: “Funny one….”

Client: “Joan?”

In unison: “Ohhhhhh! You mean Joan Rivers!”

Esu: “Yes, Yes, her! She was a winner! Why? Because of her attitude. And she kept her attitude up when others would have withdrawn from society. People could say “Well, she had money, she kept herself looking good.” That wasn’t it, it was her drive and her ability to look ahead and know, “I’m going to overcome this one way or the other!”

A winner pushes right up until death comes. You either give up before your time and live a self imposed type of death, or you keep pushing. That’s what you do.“

The session continued on going into other areas, but after it was over I was curious as to why Esu had singled out Joan Rivers as an example to be held up during a session. This was quite possibly one of the strangest pairings (Esu speaking of Joan Rivers) to date.

I know he was pushing for us to understand that ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING, and that if we say we have FAITH, than we must put that into action, unfailingly, and if the chips are down WE MUST ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT WE ARE A WINNER, no matter what, but what was this odd pairing of Esu on a moonlit night bringing up the name of Joan Rivers in my Ile-Ifa, my shrine? I did a little internet research and came away with a profound respect for this remarkable woman.

She was born to Russian-Jewish immigrants as Joan Alexandra Molinsky in 1933, raised in New York, and listened to the constant bickering of her parents fighting about money, though they were “comfortable”. She was pudgy, in her own words, and the ugly duckling in comparison to her older more beautiful sister. She was terrified of poverty-and failure:

“I could not endure the reality that I might end up Joan Molinsky, an unattractive, nondescript little Jewish girl, run-of-the-mill, who might just as well have stayed in Brooklyn and married a druggist and had a normal life. I had come from normal life, from real life, and nobody there had been happy”, she said in her 1986 autobiography, “Enter Talking.”

She went to college, acted in plays and bit parts in the movies, worked at upscale department stores, but her attempts at leading a “normal” life as her parents wished, did not go well. Her first marriage lasted only 6 months. Penniless, she changed her name to Joan Rivers and hit the nightclubs of Greenwich Village to do standup comedy, much to the horror of her parents. Comedy at that time was an all-male bastion and she suffered greatly, hitting a low playing at a strip club in Boston:

“Even sobbing in the filthy shower in Boston, telling myself, ‘I’m not going to do this anymore, I’m not going to do it anymore,’ I had known I would keep on going, no matter what. My parents were not going to defeat me.”

Jan Wallman, who booked the Duplex club in New York, recalled Rivers hauling around a clunky tape recorder to record her routine for later self-evaluation.

“She’d come in the next night with the material refined just perfectly, until she’d make it even better the next night,” Wallman said in an interview on the Cabaret Exchange site.

“I never knew anybody who worked that hard.”

Fast forward to years of success with Johnny Carson and then a heart crushing blow as their personal and professional friendship came to a complete end after she left his show to host her own comedy talk show. He hung up on her twice and they never spoke again. Her new show failed. She was blackballed. She could not get work.

After 22 years of marriage (in which her only child Melissa was born), her husband committed suicide on August 14th, 1987, which Joan blamed on the stress and heartbreak of what had happened with Carson, NBC and the Fox show fiasco. During this difficult time her daughter did not speak to her for almost a year as they both struggled with their pain. Joan always wanted to have a big family but several miscarriages ended those dreams and it was at the low point of her husband’s suicide that she considered killing herself. What kept her from carrying it out was knowing that her daughter would be alone in the world with no family with no one to care for her. So what did she do? She fought back to “climb out of the well” and went to work.

She came back for a 5 year stint on the “Joan Rivers Show” and continued on to win an Emmy award, star in Celebrity Apprentice, create a jewelry line for QVC and host various other shows such as E! Fashion Police. She never gave up. In her documentary “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work”, which was warmly welcomed at the 2010 Sundance Film Festival, she was discussing her anxiety over getting older and staying culturally relevant. She pointed to her empty calendar and exclaimed:

“I’ll show you fear. That’s fear.”

She fought her childhood demons. She went against the dictates of her time and broke into an all-male enclave of comedy. She stayed true to her self. She cried alone in strip club bathrooms after stand up sets where she needed that money to live off of. She lost longed for children to miscarriages, she lost the love of her life, a man she was married to for 22 years, to suicide, and she contemplated following him in the same manner. She lost her best friend in show biz and was snubbed and blackballed in the industry. She overcame all, but at the peak of her 81 years she left us much too soon, but she left behind such a shining example of human spirit that even Esu, yes, the Yoruba orisa deity we call Esu, found her life worthy of use as an illustration of what to strive for:

“A winner pushes right up until death comes. You either give up before your time and live a self imposed type of death, or you keep pushing. That’s what you do.”

Mo dupe o Esu, thank you Joan, may you rest in perfect peace, Ase o!

Joan Rivers Rest in Peace

© 2016 by Farin da Silva, All Rights Reserved. Pursuant to the Copyright Act of 1976 and subsequent amendments, codified as 17 U.S.C. §§ 101-810, the works contained within are protected by United States laws and by international treaties. This includes the literary and pictorial works created by Farin da Silva contained herein, as well as any other original works of authorship fixed in any tangible medium of expression. The unauthorized copying, distributing, displaying, or production of derivative works is strictly prohibited by Farin da Silva. Copyright infringement may subject you to civil liability of a minimum of $750 per infringement for statutory damages, as well as the costs incurred to enforce these rights. 17 U.S.C. § 504. A court may award up to $150,000 per infringement. This copyright holder takes copyright infringement seriously and does enforce their rights.

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Praises to the River Goddess

Oreyeye Osun

Bright Mother
who flashes fire
reflecting yellow sun
Owner
of countless riches below
shell pearl river stone throne

you are seated
like a crown
diamond-filled and flowing
you spread your ribbons
cross land
to kiss sweet with salt sea tang.

Queen Mother
who carries a fan
you plait your hair
quick fingers
mid-stream
showing supple back
glowing gold onto the sand.

Blue-silver ice-green
frothing white
your arms
soothe beads of fever
dry throats
we drink coolness with our hands.

Bringer of children’s laughter
maker of happy homes
your nimble feet
dance quickly
chiming
like struck brass bronze and gold.

You delight our eyes and ears
fanning water
rainbow spray
a flash of color
tiny pearls
blown by the wind.

A shake of your skirt
makes fish leap
bubbling
from below
Kind Mother
who feeds the hungry net
fills the belly
of all who remember you.

Queen Mother
who gives life
you are the Owner
of infinite riches
jewel heart
bosom made of gold
let me rest my head there with you.

Omi ero to heal my body
Omi ero to rinse all sorrow
Omi ero to end all hardness
Omi ero to sweeten life.

The pot which virgins carry
if sits empty
silent is
the chorus of praise which firmly
seats the crown on your royal head.
Mo juba
Owner of the Fan
May your pots be filled at dawn.
Mo juba
Queen Mother
May your name be praised at river’s edge.
Mo juba
Radiant Mother who gives birth
May we respect your miracle of life.
Mo juba
Breast-feeding Mother who Commands
May we learn your patient strength.
Mo juba
Queen of Sweet Waters
May you be worshipped and admired
to run forever free.
O Mother,
Bring health, long life and wealth
to my name and hand
Bring me children
so I can taste
all riches savored sweetness
the nectar between woman and man.
Ase Ase Ase O!

© 2009 – 2016 by Farin da Silva, All Rights Reserved. Pursuant to the Copyright Act of 1976 and subsequent amendments, codified as 17 U.S.C. §§ 101-810, the works contained within are protected by United States laws and by international treaties. This includes the literary and pictorial works created by Farin da Silva contained herein, as well as any other original works of authorship fixed in any tangible medium of expression. The unauthorized copying, distributing, displaying, or production of derivative works is strictly prohibited by Farin da Silva. Copyright infringement may subject you to civil liability of a minimum of $750 per infringement for statutory damages, as well as the costs incurred to enforce these rights. 17 U.S.C. § 504. A court may award up to $150,000 per infringement. This copyright holder takes copyright infringement seriously and does enforce their rights.